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Glyphius Headline Copywriting Test

June 13th, 2008 · 16 Comments

Ok, Here’s a fun experiment for those of you interested in the value of Glyphius and what it can do for your click through response rates.

glyphius071.jpg

Comment to this post with your headline. I will score it using Glyphius 2007 , reword it, and post the result at no charge. Use the result on your website and see what happens. Using good copy writing tools can only help.

Should be an interesting and profitable experience [for you].

Tags: Marketing · Tools

16 responses so far ↓

  • 1 John // Jun 14, 2008 at 2:39 pm

    Discover how to generate cash from home

    without selling or buying anything…

  • 2 Roger Willcocks // Jun 14, 2008 at 2:54 pm

    Would You Like to Make $1000 A Month Selling Your Own Software?

  • 3 Jorge Mojica // Jun 14, 2008 at 8:20 pm

    Hey, I’m blind, so I’m afraid I can’t comment on the pics you posted, but I’d love to give you a headline. How to use hypnosis, For people who are almost (but not quite) satisfied with their lives and can’t figure out how to get more of what they want:

  • 4 Adam Harley // Jun 14, 2008 at 9:49 pm

    “Now You Can Finally Learn How to Double or Even Triple Your Reading Speed Easily, While Improving Your Comprehension…
    …Unleash Yourself From Habits That Make You Read At a Reluctant Crawl”

    There it is. Looking forward to what glyphius recommends.

    Thanks!

  • 5 ken // Jun 16, 2008 at 8:33 am

    Ok. I’m going to work on these one at a time, beginning with Roger’s headline.

    I f you follow the link above, it appears that Roger sells instructional videos for Software Developers to help them develop and market their own software products.

    He is thinking of using the following headline:

    Would You Like to Make $1000 A Month Selling Your Own Software? - Score: 127 using Glyphius with negative words:
    month: -32
    your: -27
    own: -21

    Here are a few iterations, making changes to the line above:

    Would You Like to Make $1000 A Month Selling Software? - Score: 169

    Would You Like to Make $1000 Selling Personal Software? - Score: 209

    Would You Like Making $1000 Selling Software? - Score: 225

    Would You Like Making $1000 Selling Personal Software? - Score: 233

    Would You Like Making $250 Weekly Selling Personal Software? - Score: 240

    After looking at the web page, I am thinking why not try something like this instead??

    Design & Market Software - Make $250 Weekly Realistically! - Score: 355

    Hope this works for you Roger.

    Ken

  • 6 Roger Willcocks // Jun 17, 2008 at 3:23 am

    Thanks. I’ve added them into my testing rotation.

  • 7 ken // Jun 17, 2008 at 5:56 am

    I’m looking forward to hearing the results of your testing.

  • 8 ken // Jun 17, 2008 at 2:07 pm

    This is for Jorge Mojica // Jun 14, 2008 at 8:20 pm

    Hey, I’m blind, so I’m afraid I can’t comment on Hypnosis Therapy, For people who are almost (but not quite) satisfied with their lives and can’t figure out how to get more of what they want: - - Score: 103

    Better, but still room for improvement.

    My last pass was:

    Personal Hypnosis Consulting! For people that are nearly satisfied but would like more ! - Score: 237

    This reads a little better and scores slightly lower:

    Personal Hypnosis Consulting, For people that are nearly satisfied but would like to realize more ! - Score: 235

    I have to admit I’m not totally satisfied with it yet. If there are other Glyphius users out there that would like to give it a try, let me know.

  • 9 Mark - Home Parvo Treatment // Jun 17, 2008 at 10:22 pm

    Buy Parvaid, Vibactra Plus & Life Cell Support For Safe, Cost-Effective Home Parvo Treatment

  • 10 ken // Jun 18, 2008 at 10:02 am

    This one is for John who has the site, http://www.411cashbox.com . Just a note for John . . . you have a ton of places on your page where Glyphius could be used to increase click through rates.

    Your request . . .

    Discover how to generate cash from home without selling or buying anything… - Score: 143

    This isn’t too bad as is. I would have a link right there to where you want people to go if they want to go immediately.

    Here’s what I would up with after a few minutes. . .

    Discover how to construct a positive cashflow from home instead of selling or buying merchandise… - Score: 430

    Good Luck!

  • 11 ken // Jun 20, 2008 at 8:38 am

    Here is the quote from Adam Harley who sells a speed reading paper on his site.

    The headline is long, so I’ll take it in two pieces.

    Now You Can Finally Learn How to Double or Even Triple Your Reading Speed Easily, While Improving Your Comprehension… - Score: 0

    Negative words are:
    now: -70
    you: -6
    learn: -14
    how: -14
    to: -11
    double: -34
    even: -41
    your: -27
    easily,: -8
    while: -10
    your: -27

    To this . . .

    You Can Finally Learn How to Multiply Reading Speeds Quickly, at the Same Time Improving Comprehension… - Score: 203

    Second half . . . .

    …Unleash Yourself From Habits That Make You Read At a Reluctant Crawl” - Score: 21

    Negative words….

    …unleash: -9
    yourself: -38
    you: -6
    at: -11

    …Break Existing Habits That Make You Read At a Forced Crawl” - Score: 173

    Hopefully this will work better for you.

  • 12 John // Jun 20, 2008 at 12:05 pm

    Hi Ken, Thanks for the edit. I had been using this site for my free headline analysis: http://www.aminstitute.com/headline

    I know your software uses different parameters to evaluate headline. It is on my future purchases list. Thanks again.

  • 13 ken // Jun 20, 2008 at 1:29 pm

    John,

    I’m always open to trying new tools to help get better conversion results. I ran both through the EMV tool with similar results.

    Interesting. What have you been finding for a conversion rate correlation when using that tool?

  • 14 Janae // Jun 22, 2008 at 4:45 pm

    After reading several about this product, I must say that my interest is really peeked.

  • 15 ken // Jun 23, 2008 at 7:58 am

    Janae,

    I’m glad you’re enjoying these comments.

    I always enjoy and find interesting, the different approaches that people take when marketing their products.

    Ken

  • 16 ken // Jun 23, 2008 at 8:38 am

    This is for Mark - Home Parvo Treatment // Jun 17, 2008 at 10:22 pm

    This is a little more difficult because some of the negative words are product words. . . .

    Buy Parvaid, Vibactra Plus & Life Cell Support For Safe, Cost-Effective Home Parvo Treatment - Score: 55

    Negative Words . . .
    parvaid,: -40
    plus: -64
    life: -14
    safe,: -2
    treatment: -23

    After a couple of iterations, I get to this…

    Buy Parvaid, Vibactra Plus & Life Cell Support For Safe, Cost-Effective Home Parvo Medication - Score: 139

    Here are a couple of others I came up with . . .

    Buy Home Parvo Medication! Act Today! Save hundreds of dollars! - Score: 236

    Buy Home Parvo Medication that can save lives and hundreds of dollars! - Score: 237

    Good Luck!

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